Referral?

So... We've been a little busy lately!

I'm backdating the next few posts so you can get an idea of how things happened!

Holt received our Minor/Correctable Medical Condition Checklist on November 18. I had spoken with the China Program Director last Friday (the 14th) and even though they didn't have our form yet she took down some of the conditions that we were willing to accept. Some of these were cleft lip & palate, club foot, and crossed/lazy eye -- ALL of which are very correctable. She told me that because we were willing to accept cleft lip/palate, we probably would get a referral "VERY SOON". Cleft lip/palate is the most-referred condition of special needs kids in China. Next is heart conditions (which we were not open to at this point).

The doctor I wanted to visit with about some of the conditions and also to check with when we do receive a referral was in China bringing home THEIR son until November 14! I was going to wait until today to call him after they got home and got settled.

Lo and behold, at 10:19 a.m. this morning, my cell phone rang while I was "talking business" with a co-worker. I recognized the area code and knew it was someone from Holt. I answered and the China Program Director said she had a referral! WOW! Three days after they received our checklist! We had also earlier in the week sent digital pictures to Holt that they would need when we receive a referral. So, they had everything they needed and said we were ready for our referral!

I'll say right now that it's a good thing to take action when something is requested by the agency 'cause YOU NEVER KNOW when the call might come! Holt told us that it could come anytime. We'll be living our regular lives and the phone will ring and that ring could change your lives forever!

So, I was at work when the call came! She told me a little about the child -- a girl, 17 months old, cleft lip and palate 2nd degree, her name, what province she's from, what orphanage she's in. Do we want to review her information, including pictures? I called Tony and said "Holt called." He said, "Do I need to sit down?" I said, "Yes." So I told him what she had told me about the child. He said, "Yes, let's get the information."

So I called Holt back and said we'd like to see the child. Within a half hour we had the email. It included the child's pictures (before and after the lip surgery), the hospital report, the little information about when and where she was found, lab work, current schedule and development notes, and the English translations of all of it. I looked for a while at it and then called the doctor that I was going to call anyway today. He was working but said he'd look at the information a little later and call me back. (I was hoping to just visit with him in general, rather than calling and saying "can you help me, please?") I emailed all the documents to him and waited.

I could not concentrate on work anymore! I don't think Tony could, either!

Eventually, the doctor called back and talked a little about her lab work and also about the cleft lip/palate. He said the left lip/palate was more 3rd degree and told me what may need to be done to fix it. This particular case is pretty severe and he basically brought me back down to earth.

I also talked to our casworker at NCHS and he was telling me about some of the cases he's seen. Wow! That all sounded like it could get really expensive!

So when we both got home we talked and we both were agreeing that this particular case was outside of our comfort zone. Holt needed to have our Letter of Intent (LOI) by the end of the work day today so we called. The director had left for the day so we got a hold of another China Program person. We explained our feelings and said we didn't want to take "cleft palate" off the list but now that we were more aware of our comfort level, if they ever had a child with a less severe condition, we'd be more open to that. We were told to "not worry" and that another family would "snatch her up." I hope she finds a home soon because she if VERY cute!

I truly feel that if I'd gotten to visit with the doctor before this referral we may have been able to let Holt know that we would prefer the less severe cases.

Today was a hard, emotional day. We hate to turn down a child after we've waited so long but all the adoption education we've had has made us think about what is best for the child and the fears we had about this case are valid and if we didn't think we could give her the best care possible, we should let someone else have the opportunity.